We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but No one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This nation is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, change the channel, express a different opinion, etc., But the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be. Accept it.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.