Toots Barton recently bought a pair of the cellulite shorts down at the trailer park. Now, imagine 50 pounds of Idaho potatoes shoved into a 10 pound bag and you get my drift. Anyway, Toots pranced around for three weeks in the things like she was auditioning for a part in "Chicago." I heard a few days ago, she finally gave them up, so I kept an eye out for her. She wore a pair of spandex pink capris and honest to God, it looked like they were filled with cottage cheese