When insults had class

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
Moses Hadas

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
Clarence Darrow

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
Groucho Marx

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
Stephen Bishop

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
Irvin S. Cobb

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
Thomas Brackett Reed

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
Forrest Tucker

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)