clipped from: www.theonion.com   

Revitalizing The GOP


The defection of Pennsylvania Sen. Arlen Specter from the Republicans to the Democrats has left the GOP without enough members to filibuster, and served as a wake-up call to the party.

What are Republicans doing to revitalize their image?

Replacing apocalyptic fear-based rhetoric with more restrained fear-based rhetoric


Now support the removal of feeding tubes, but only to allow for periodic cleaning and reinsertion


Reaching out to young people with Trickle, the supply-side economics mascot


Have already given the party chairmanship to a black man—a black man, for the love of God. Was that not enough for you people?


Now recognizing women's suffrage


Maybe taking responsibility for at least a couple of things that are currently wrong with the country


Republicans