Soldiers in the Swiss army are demanding more effective weaponry after centuries of being armed only with handy little penknives.

Switzerland has been forced to remain neutral in successive European conflicts including World War Two, when it was feared that a small national force armed only with pocket knives featuring corkscrews and toothpicks might prove ineffective against the Hitler’s massed panzer divisions.

The Swiss Defence Minister defended their army’s traditional weaponry pointing out that their elite special forces also have a little cuticle pusher and letter opener. However after much debate the country is resolved to embark upon major modernization of its armaments programme that will make Switzerland one of the world’s major military powers . Airports have been warned to be extra vigilant towards travellers carrying penknives with pull-out tactical nuclear weapons.