Edgar Kim and Nathan Davis of Tacoma, Washington State, the founders of the website reserveaspotinheaven.com, have done what many before them have failed to do: struck a deal with the Almighty. “We are the only official distributor of reservations into Heaven,” they maintain. “We are directly affiliated and sent down by the Board of Heavenly Officials, the only governing body in Heaven, to offer you one thing and one thing only: a worry-free, secure way into Heaven.”
And if damp conditions never did suit you, worry not. For exactly the same price you can swap hymns and the Bible for “shots and strippers” at reserveaspotinhell.com. With a 100 per cent money-back guarantee on all of packages, there's simply nothing to lose. Book now, or forever hold thy peace.