Back in my day, we called them ‘wannabees’ or ‘hanger ons.’ Today, you might call them something else. But those were the people who so desperately wanted to be well liked and popular, that they inadvertently crossed the line and ended up becoming one dimensional and fucking annoying. I’ve actually always had a soft spot in my heart for them. To me, it seemed like their only crime was trying too fucking hard and I couldn’t bring myself to publicly shun someone for being nice to me. Oftentimes, I’d reach out to them, hoping that my guidance would ‘cool them up’ a little. When I was 11, my classmate Megan became my full fledged project.

Megan was widely despised by everyone despite her innate sweetness. She was the type of girl who never really talked about herself. If you asked her what her favorite food was, she’d say, “What’s your favorite food?” If you answered “Pizza,” she’d say, “Oh, that’s my favorite food, too!” If you asked her what she liked to do for fun, she’d ask, “What do you like to do for fun?” If you answered, “I like playing soccer,” she’d say, “That’s exactly what I like to do too!”

I look around the world today and I’ve noticed that it is full of people like Megan.

Everyone has been playing nice-nice with each other. No one wants to accidentally offend anyone else. We’re all so open and accepting of everyone’s thoughts and feelings (Even the fucking dumb ones) and there are no stupid questions. We share. We encourage. We sugar coat. We are tactful and we are pleasant.

And after a day of this, we go home, make ourselves a cocktail and wonder why no one really knows us. We wonder why we never feel really close to our friends and we speculate on how it’s possible to live one third of our lives without bonding or connecting with anyone else. In the midst of so many superficial friendships, we are amazed by the fact that we can feel so alone.